Partner: David Dhawan’s ‘Hitch’-hike!
Cast: Salman Khan, Govinda, Katrina Kaif, Lara Dutta
Director: David Dhawan
Genre: Comedy
Storyline: Hitch
Bottomline: Knot exactly Hitch, tied up David Dhawan style
The thing about David Dhawan movies is that you know that the knot is just an excuse to unleash some unpretentious insanity on screen, as the lead pair improvises with great flourish, backed with the cheesiest of lines.
Sample this: When Prem (Salman Khan of course) thinks the bumbling Bhaskar (Govinda) died in a bus accident, he sits beside the corpse, and in all sincerity says: “Pata hai pyaar karna sab ke BUS ki baat nahin nahin, Par kya pata tha ki tu BUS pakadkar, hum sabko beBUS karke chala jayega.” (It’s impossible to translate these dialogues Sanjay Chhel and make them sound funny in English)
Instantly, you know here’s a film that does not take itself too seriously. Earlier, there’s a scene where a kid launches a baby missile that responds to the verbal cue: ‘Go baby go’ and hunts down the person mentioned after those words. So when the kid helplessly cries for help saying ‘Maama,’ the missile chases Jet-Skiing Salman Khan giving him ample scope to showcase his stunts. Wait a minute, didn’t we say it was about Hitch?
Yes, that’s because stupid Bhaskar (chubby klutzy Govinda) wants to woo Marie Claire model Katrina Kaif and seeks Love Guru’s help.
With that storyline as an excuse, David Dhawan gives the common man plenty to laugh at with digs at everyone including Shah Rukh Khan (Rajpal Yadav plays Chotta Don in a cheeky sub-plot that never quite takes off), Aamir Khan (there’s this hilarious Aamir duplicate on screen when Salman takes the mischievious kid for a movie) and the lead players Govinda (as the man breaks into Sarkailo Khatiya to showcase his dance skills before Love Guru tells him that times have changed and he has to make his moves more stylish and ‘Just Chill’ – one of the finest moments in the film, almost autobiographical) and Salman himself (at a security check, Salman takes his shirt off and says: “Main Toh Mauke main rehta hoon yeh sab karne ke liye” (I just wait for opportunities to do things like this)
David Dhawan has been criticised for being inconsistent about delivering his films and sometimes scenes within the film – some work, others fail. That’s because he helms a genre called improvisational comedy that solely depends on the mood of the unit (mainly the actors and his writers) during that particular day.
If you think about it, there is simply no other way David Dhawan films can be made. Because most of the jokes surely wouldn’t sound funny the second time you read it in a bound script.
The scenes work purely because of the improvisation and comic timing by the actors. Here, Govinda returns to form and cracks you up as Salman sits back and lets the under-rated actor take centre-stage.
In fact, that scene in the theatre where Prem babysits the kid and cheers ‘Go Aamir, Go’ is testimony to Salman’s attitude of sitting back and having a good time watching his contemporaries try hard to entertain. In a recent interview, Salman said: “Shah Rukh puts in 100 per cent, Aamir puts in 200 per cent… and me, I put in two percent.”
And when you see Partner, you tend to believe the man. His performance is effortless indeed.
If Hitch was a date movie, this one’s for buddies.
Die Hard: John McLane kicks ass!
Cast: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Maggie Q, Timothy Olyphant, Kevin Smith
Director: Len Wiseman
Genre: Action
Storyline: A bunch of hackers unleashing virtual terrorism need their backsides kicked and John McLane obliges.
Bottomline: Yippi Ka Yay! Mo-friggin’ good.
For most Die Hard fans, it’s paisa vasool just to watch John McLane say: ‘Yippi Ka Yay Mother…’ This breed could die of a happiness overdose watching Die Hard 4.0.
John McLane is back doing what he does best – kick as soon as he gets a chance to, the good old-fashioned way.
Like always, he is the man at the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s not Christmas but it’s the fourth of July this time.
Pretty much like Rocky Balboa in his last installment, John McLane too now spends a lonely life. No wife, a daughter who’s bitter with him. “Know what you get for being a hero? Nothin’. You get shot at… Your wife doesn’t remember your last name…”
He’s not exactly dying to be a hero and yet always near-dying when he becomes one, out of no choice. Like he says, “If someone else would do it, I would gladly let them.” Speaking for the rest of us, the hacker kid he’s protecting (Justin Long) tells him: “That’s what makes you the man.”
It’s that emotional core of Die Hard 4.0 that raises the film above the mindless-action-based sequels, even bettering the original.
Not that the sequels were all bad. The original Die Hard (1988) was a classic action flick that made profanity sound cool. Die Hard 2 (1990) was really pushing the scope of possibilities to plausibility-defying proportions and yet managing to land smoothly as McLane gives the bad guys a ‘Yippi Ka Yay’ send off with his cigarette lighter. Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) started off on a promising note with the ‘Simon Says’ game but the key revelation happens too early in the film and we’re left with nearly an hour of an explosive steeple-chase which after a point becomes really redundant.
Thanks to Wiseman, with the emotional core intact, Die Hard 4 explodes into a recklessly racy video game – a cat-and-mice (come on, the bad guys are always mice compared to John McLane, our cool cat) game too like the previous films.
We always knew McLane hated technology, so here they pit him against something he has no clue about and that is what makes him vulnerable. The villain is technology, not the guys specifically. Like the bad guy Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) says, “You are a Timex watch in a digital age.”
Even when it’s about combat, McLane is dealing with sophisticated fighters. Maggie Q plays a martial arts specialist. “Mai? Asian chick, likes to kick people? Yeah, last time I saw her she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass…” goes McLane after taking her on: “Enough of this kung fu shit.”
McLane sticks to basics. He knows someone is responsible for wrecking chaos and he knows he has to find them and kick their assembly. In the process, he sends cars flying, takes on an F-35 jet sitting in a truck and yeah, like the John McLane Guyz Nite tribute song tells us, “the greatest car-explosions by far.”
Justin Long (Accepted, Herbie Fully Loaded) plays the perfect foil to McLane, speaking for us most of the time, like when he observes: “You just killed a helicopter with a car.” “I was outta bullets,” reasons McLane with his trademark cool.
Bruce Willis just seems to get better at this with age and it would be a pity if he signs off the franchise with this one. The man carries the film with his profanity and timing, getting beaten, battered and bathes in blood before he finally gets to say: “Yippi Ka Yay Motherfucker!” (Jerkoffs wouldn’t like that on print, would they?)
Interview on MiD-Day Bangalore
Thank you, Sunayana, for this half-page write-up… Awesome! Considering you had to jot it all down over phone… You’re a rock star!!
For the record, a couple of small corrections/clarifications:
1. The article says 72 per cent of TFLW was shot in 3 weeks.
About 85 per cent of the film was actually shot in 12 days. The 72 per cent stat is about the occupancy during the 3 weeks we played at Sathyam Cinemas.
2. The problem in finding child actors who can speak English without any accent was to make sure that regional flavours don’t restrict the market for a universal story. Generally, Bombay audiences have their strict bias against anything even remotely South Indian.
Beerfest: Drink before you think
Cast: Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Cloris Leachman, Paul Soter
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Genre: Comedy
Storyline: A bunch of friends challenge the Germans to a beer-drinking competition.
Bottomline: *Laugh out loud* What was it again? Hic! Never mind, pour me another one!
Half-naked women (Full, if you grab a DVD). Gross jokes about throwing up. Absolutely ribald. Juvenile to the core. Inane. Crude. Crass. But come on, it’s a night out with the boys.
After all, the irreverence is among the many other casual, fun things that the spirit of beer stands for.
Now, I don’t drink Beer. Mostly, because I don’t like the taste of it.
But strangely, I liked the bad taste in this one.
Beerfest made me love everything that Beer stands for. It’s the kind of movie that makes ‘Dude, Where’s My Car’ look sober.
Which means that you just should not, must not and cannot look for a story or a plot in here. Because, like good beer, it’s all about the froth and the foam, the strong flavour and a light kick. Beer is not the food for thought or a plot. It’s an excuse to lose your mind.
Hence, the film itself is constructed like one of those all-guys frat-house parties where you arrive knowing what to expect, meet the weirdest assortment of drunks and before you know it, the games begin and guys get-together bonding over beer and, well… More beer.
There’s non-stop nonsense, junk food, Baywatch on TV and a bunch of guys rolling on the floor laughing about something they don’t remember anymore.
Relate to that? Then, Jay Chandrasekhar’s movie is your pitcher of beer.
Jay himself can’t act for nuts but he’s fun to watch.
And Hey! If he was adequately drunk when he wrote and directed this ultimate Beer Movie ever, it’s only fair he got himself sloshed before the make-up man messed with his face.
Want to really enjoy the Beerfest experience?
Get together with the boys, get plenty of booze and rent it out. If the movie doesn’t make you laugh, the beer surely will.
Coming Soon to Singapore!
I had got an email from Anant Shiva, a friend of Sagaro’s, inviting me to send in That Four Letter Word for the Screenplayer Film Festival. Apparently, the festival is only for short films and they have made an exception to showcase TFLW because of its ‘making’ story, I hear.
All a filmmaker wants is for more people to see his film. (Sagaro: Don’t take that to mean that you can put up a copy online if you have one). I’m glad that some of you in Singapore will be able to see the movie.
One of my school buddies and old dumb charades mate Amal Kiran is planning to organise a screening for his students. Amal knows the guys we’ve based the film on. So it would be interesting to see how he reacts to the film because he hasn’t seen it himself yet.
TFLW goes to South Asian Film Festival, Bangladesh
I just got an email informing me that the film has been selected in the non-competitive section of the South Asian Film Festival, Bangladesh.
I had submitted my film after one of the festival programmers from India had asked me to send in the film.
The festival is between August 1 and 10 in Dhaka and Chittagong. The screening schedule should be put up on July 25 on the official site.
I’m yet to decide if I should go or not mainly because of the political turmoil in Dhaka. Besides, flying there is too expensive and the only other option is to fly to Kolkata and take a bus or train to Dhaka.
I’m tempted to go there because this is only the second International film festival that the film has been selected for after the Premiere in Chennai.
Now, I don’t feel too bad spending money couriering films around the world. Each time I send through DHL, it costs me Rs.2400.
I remember filling up the entry form of the Milano Film Festival, Italy in the middle of the night and it took me nearly two hours because they had word limits for everything. Once I hit Submit, I got a message saying that the film DVD should reach them within the next 48 hours. It was 2 in the morning. I rushed out to take my bike and rode to the DHL centre near the airport after packing a DVD with the cleanest inlay cards that were available at home. I got there and found out it was going to cost me that much. I wasn’t even carrying that kind of money and since I didn’t have much of a bank balance either, I paid partly by cash and partly by card. They said it would take 3 days to reach Milan, Italy and that was a chance I was willing to take.
And then, I got home to do a little more reading on the festival and I found this link that took me to submission statistics. Some 2400 plus films had been submitted last year. This year, they have 2550 entries.
I read that they would select about 12 feature films in all.
I don’t think I need to do the math to figure out that I just lost 2400 bucks in one night.
Post Script:
The results for the Milano Film Festival will be out on August 1. If you believe in miracles, please pray.
Thank you Bangalore!
I have not had a more critical audience.
But they were the sweetest too – they laughed at regular intervals during the film, argued with me quite a bit after the film and then sent me off with the routine applause. The reaction seemed mixed.
Since I didn’t know what they really thought, especially after that heavyduty discussion, I asked Hrish to find out after I had left. I wanted to be know if it all there was any point in releasing the film there.
I was totally thrilled when Hrish messaged to tell me they rated the film 6 on 10 at the Roof Top Film Festival, Bangalore.
That’s much more than my own rating of 5 on 10. Thank you guys!
Here are some more individual reports – Posts made on the festival by Hrish, Lavanya, Sathish, Thejesh and Vatsap.
Filmmaker/Actor Pawan came up with this wonderful suggestion that could sustain indie filmmakers on the wiki. He said that considering that all of us spend at least two hundred bucks everytime we go out to watch a movie, he said that once in a month we can give that 200 bucks money to pre-order a DVD made by an indie filmmaker. Bangalore has a base of 100 movie buffs interested in supporting indie cinema. Even if each of these 100 get 10 of their friends to do the same, an indie filmmaker would get 2 lakh rupees, which he rightly said, is enough to cover production, post and DVD authoring costs. Let’s directly take the film to the audience. Let’s just fire the producer, he said.
If Bangalore manages to pull this off and produce Pawan’s new film, it will be a triumph for indie filmmaking.
Chennai too needs to do something to set up a network for indie filmmakers. Hopefully, we will have some news by early next month.
I spy a movement. 
The pressures of live TV
For the first time, I had a taste of a live TV Debate, thanks to Baddy. Since it was on Superstar, I jumped at the invite, totally clueless about how it all works.
If you’ve been on Live TV, you would’ve got used to the audio-video time lag – the monitor in front of you is playing visuals corresponding to 3-5 seconds earlier but the audio you hear is live… So if you’re a first timer like I was, you’re gonna have a tough time concentrating.
Part of the confusion was I had no clue when I was on air and when I wasn’t because I kept getting cut off and though the host was nice enough to let me continue what I was saying, I had no clue which part of my quote was already aired and what wasn’t.
So there I am, all nervous!
You can access the entire debate here.
That Four Letter Word blog updated!
It’s been due for a really long time and I managed to compile all TFLW related posts from the personal blog and export them to the official blog. The reason I had made those posts here was because this, being the main blog, always gets better readership. It’s gonna complete 4 lakh hits in about three years and I didn’t half imagine I was capable of maintaining one blog and here I have four.
Hopefully, the updated That Four Letter Word blog will facilitate easy reference and smoother navigation.
I’ve also added some pictures and video clips and a coupla new entries (like the speech I prepared but never delivered on the D-Day) to take you through the entire journey of the film from as far as I can remember.
I’m not sure if any movie blog has had as many entries as TFLW… Can anyone beat 79? Lol!
If I had the resources, I would’ve printed it as a book and given a copy to all cast, crew, volunteers and friends who have been responsible for this miracle – a triumph for independent cinema.
But since, I don’t yet have the money needed for that, here’s the e-book equivalent: The blog.
Coming soon to Bangalore!
Just mailed a DVD of the film to Hrish Thota, co-ordinator of Roof Top Film Festival, Bangalore to be held this weekend (July 7, 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., July 8).
Since I have my weekly office meeting on Saturday afternoon, the only way I’m gonna be able to make it to Bangalore is by road.
I bought my cruiser for days like these. Finally, a road-trip on my bike. 700 kilometres (to Bangalore and back) in 24 hours.
Just one minor problem though: the maximum I’ve ever done at one stretch is 120 kilometres in six hours.
But like I said, I’ve already mailed the DVD, so irrespective of me making it or not, my film will surely reach there.
Apne: This Rocky Baldeva pulls no punches!
Cast: Dharmendra, Sunny Deol, Bobby Deol, Katrina Kaif, Shilpa Shetty
Director: Anil Sharma Genre: Drama
Storyline: A champion boxer banned on doping charges swears to make his son a world champ only to find him unwilling.
Bottomline: Three for the price of one!
Anil Sharma’s recent films haven’t been about a plot, they’ve been tales spun around excuses to let Sunny Paaji swear endlessly in Punjabi and plant his ‘dhai’ (two and a half) kilo fist on the bad guy’s face every few minutes.
I’ve always been a fan of this kind of cinema simply because I get my kicks with a wholesome dose of laughs.
The funniest Hindi film I’ve seen till date (funniest Indian film ever would have to be T.R.’s ‘Veerasamy’) is Anil Sharma’s previous collaboration with Sunny Deol – The Hero, the love story of a spy – the most expensive film ever made, that had him sporting over a dozen clever disguises, most of them involving a mere change of sunglasses.
‘The Hero’ was a movie that made me go ahead and watch even Sunny’s serious attempts at comedy like ‘Jo Bole So Nihaal’ where he proclaims “No If, No But, Sirf Jat.”
Hence, with Apne’s three-for-the-price-of-one Jat unique selling proposition staring at my face from the posters, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.
Not to let me down, it was one of those good old Sunny Paaji films. And a super emotional one at that.
As a prize bonus, there’s Deol Junior.
Bobby is girly (to the extent that one is inclined to pun his name with an unprintable nick) and he’s better off not removing his shirt because when he does that, it’s not a scene. It’s obscene. Those slow motion shots only make it worse in otherwise brilliantly staged and shot boxing sequences. (Since this is a blog and not the version that made it to print, I think I can say I was unable to sleep traumatised by memories (mammaries rather) of Booby Deol’s KNOCKs OUT after being repeatedly being punched there in slow mos, this chest wobbling like a milk packet…)
What I didn’t bargain for, however, was Dharmendra’s powerhouse performance and a half-decent script buried in all that sentimentality and name-calling. The film belongs to the veteran. In that scene where he pleads to his protégé to let him continue coaching him, your heart goes out to the under-rated actor.
If the script seems this half-decent (the support characters are all effectively fleshed out) even after being ravaged by Anil Sharma and Sunny Deol, it surely must’ve been a winner had it been treated by a better director. Not that this doesn’t work; It does for a different kind of audience. The one that made ‘Gadar’ an embarrassingly huge super-duper hit.
Sunny, as a friend noticed, clearly eats ham for breakfast, lunch and dinner and to expect refinement out of him is plain unfair. Here he has to worry about monumental, never-ending bad hair days that make him look like he’s wearing one of those hideous wigs – or maybe it’s one of those disguises from The Hero.
To his credit, in ‘Apne,’ he actually saves up/postpones the trademark hot-bloodedness to the last Act when he finally explodes – the moment we Sunny fans had been waiting for.
So much that Garam Dharam, who in the film plays a sincere tribute to Rocky Baldeva, a well-etched out character obsessed with boxing and coaching, gives in to the moment and says: “Uda do saale ko.”
Suddenly, the excitement in the halls is infectious. Near euphoric.
Now, this is the kind of a moment where a filmmaker with a sensibility different from Sharma’s would’ve used to let the Dad step in as the coach subtly giving him the killer boxing tip that would help the hero deliver the knock out punch. And there I was half-expecting a tip like what Rocky Balboa got: “To beat this guy, you need speed – you don’t have it… So, what we’ll be calling on is good ol’ fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, pile-driving punches that will have to hurt so much they’ll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it’s gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let’s start building some hurtin’ bombs!”
“Uda do saale ko,” indeed.
Forget the rural-urban sensibility disconnect, here’s good old Indian cinema for you in all its glory.
Apocalypto: Gibson spills out guts and gore
Cast: Rudy Youngblood, Dalia Hernandez
Director: Mel Gibson
Genre: Adventure/Drama
Storyline: The peace of a tribal village is disrupted when Mayans ravage homes and take the villagers captive for human sacrifice.
Bottomline: Do you have a stomach for this?
Be warned, this, despite cuts is not for children, the faint-hearted or pregnant women.
Mel Gibson revels in fleshing out a recklessly raw, ultra-violent edge-of-the seat chase drama that relentlessly explores savagery and the dark side of an ancient civilization.
Gore fills the frames, guts spill out, lives are lost and you not just see blood on screen, you can almost smell the rotting flesh of corpses. In many ways, it’s voyeuristic – Ever wondered what a human head chewed on by a Jaguar or the insides of a Brazilian tapir would look like? Gibson shows you with fascinating detail that could make you throw up.
Certainly not the kind of movie Granny would approve of.
Yet, purely on the basis of cinematic merit, ‘Apocalypto’ is a must-watch for the unflinching passion Gibson displays in crafting and layering a rather simple story of tribals being taken captive for human sacrifice (with superstition related to the Solar Eclipse included) with heart-stopping adrenaline.
What appears to be an age-old tale begins with a quote that puts the film in the context of the world today, insinuating references to contemporary politics and the greed of man that will lead his world to destruction.
With that context established, Gibson’s approach is paradoxically two-pronged. He’s as subtle as a sledge-hammer slamming your senses with some seriously savage story-telling yet, as smooth as silk, spinning in the subtext – the lessons to learn from history.
Employing the Maya language for realism and credibility, the director manages to use the abstractness of the language we don’t understand to alienate us from the events and successfully suspend disbelief. The fact that you don’t know any of the cast makes the characters further unpredictable.
The indigenous bunch led by Rudy Youngblood consists of able unknown Mexican actors who’ve evidently worked hard on their physically exhausting roles. Add to that some painstakingly shot larger-than-life visuals and meticulously detailed production design and what you get is a triumph for cinema.
Personal tastes, factual inaccuracies and historical inconsistencies, if any, cannot take away credit due to Gibson, the filmmaker.
Stay away if you are in the mood for popcorn entertainment.
This one needs a solid stomach.
