Review: Fu… Naa!
F***! Naaaa!!
It can’t be true.
It’s like someone pissed all over the RDX and the explosive potential simply goes down the drain.
Agreed Aamir and Kajol are really good but unfortunately, there are more things to cinema than what two actors can do even when you wake them up in the middle of the night.
I just came back from the movie with a very uneasy feeling in my stomach: Whatta huge fuckin waste of a plot!
What could’ve been an intense quirky love story on the scale of ‘Dil Se’ is blinded by a blizzard called The Complete Works of Aditya Chopra and Karan Johar, replete with Antakshari, the annoying cute kid who stops just short of saying ‘Tussi Mat Jao,’ the moment in the rain, Shah Rukh…ooops Aamir thrusting his blessed nose in Kajol’s bosom, the tree that dropped leaves in ‘Mohabattien,’ Farida Jalal… ooops Kiron Kher doing a DDLJ moment, mush, corn and a sack of salt.
‘Fanaa’ was destroyed not in love but right from its inception, in fact right from the title
(You can’t make a film like ‘Fanaa’ unforgettable by just making sure the word ‘Fanaa’ appears 352 times in the film), incredibly unconvincing screenplay (maybe the writer bunked the plausibility and logic class in her screenwriting course), clueless direction (Either Kunal Kohli was smart enough to put the cockroach as a metaphor or was THAT what Anti-Terrorist Squad officer Tabu was after for nearly half an hour after that scene while the terrorist goes singing in the snow and tongue-twisters at that) and even worse editing (agreed Ravi K Chandran comes up with beautiful haunting frames but if you’re gonna keep all that he shoots, your next film will be 10 hours long).
Despite its hurried, slightly flawed ending ‘Dil Se’ was infinitely superior cinema. In fact, it was almost a classic. Hell, it was a classic. ‘Fanaa’ just gives ‘Dil Se’ to new heights.
I don’t want to ruin the only good thing about the movie in this review: The plot, cursed to rot in hell.
So find out for yourself.
Before some psycho/good samaritan smses it to you. I’m switching on comment moderation for this post to avoid spoilers.
P.S: The best part of the experience for me was getting to see the promo of ‘Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna’ and what can I say? It looks like Closer doused with the Karan Johar-Aditya Chopra treatment.
P.S 2: Aamir Khan should retire playing young loverboy (‘Rang De Basanti’ seemed to be a nice swan song to such roles) or get rid of that double chin and the excess fat on his face. The two and a half years he spent on ‘Mangal Pandey’ could have surely been more useful. But I have to say this much: Aamir has balls of steel to play a role like this, that too right after ‘Rang De Basanti.’
Blank Noise Project @ Besant Nagar Beach Today!
Sorry about this late an update, been a little busy.
There is a Blank Noise Project intervention this evening at Besant Nagar Beach. We meet at 5 p.m. at Planet Yumm before the performance.
About eight to ten women will participate in the intervention by hanging out at the beach doing nothing, staring back at people and handing them testimonials (accounts of sexual harassment taken from the blank noise blogs). The guys will distribute pamphlets.
We need volunteers. The more the merrier. This is a nationwide event. More details here.
Warning: Mistress of Spices is injurious to your taste buds!
Sathyam has a new scheme called Blind Date where they invite you for a mystery movie. They do not tell you what’s the movie you are watching till you are in the hall and have filled up the lucky draw form where you have to guess the movie.
It does sound like an exciting idea, given that you will see the premiere of an unreleased movie before anybody gets to watch it and with celebrities. Hope Sathyam continues this with better movies and a celebcrowd.
Because, when Blind Date happened yesterday, I really wished I were blind.
Lessons to learn from the Lok Paritran experience!
It is indeed unfortunate that the fledgling Lok Paritran has split, and this is not a good thing for hundreds of youth from the city who slogged their ass off to campaign for the party. This is a big blow to youth like Praveen, Incognito and their desire to change the system.
It’s a combination of internal politics and inexperience that has led to this huge setback and it remains to be seen if the party formed by former IITians will stand the test of character.
A friend recently brought my attention to this blog that claimed to be an expose on the LP founder Tanmay Rajpurohit. It is indeed a pretty well studied analysis but the fact that the author has not allowed comments makes one suspect foul play and malice.
When I did my first interview with these guys, Tanmay did tell me he was a mainstream politican party worker for a brief while and he quit it because it was corrupt. He had then refused to name the party because it was irrelevant and I had told him that it would some day surface. He just smiled then. I doubt if he likes these accusations now.
Going by the “expose,” it turns out that maybe it was the right-winged party known for its hidden agenda and Hindu fanaticism that he once worked for. But the important point here is that HE USED TO WORK FOR IT.
While WHAT ONE USED TO think in the past may not be all that important with the formation of a new party based on a development and growth based ideology, it is important to identify the DNA of a party.
Knowing the roots helps people become a little more aware of what the party could grow into. The transparency which the party promised in governance was missing in the DNA.
In hindsight it does seem to be a bad decision to rush into action by interviewing wannabe do-gooders, without really having any clue of how trustworthy their selected candidates were.
When I spoke to Elanthirumaran, State party president, when he was chosen, I asked him if he had quit his job. He said he had taken a break. That is not what inspires party workers. But maybe the party trusted him enough. The dude did come across as a well-meaning guy with good intentions after all.
He along with Rajamany, the Anna Nagar candidate who got over 10,000 votes thanks to LP being alloted Captain’s symbol of the drum in the constituency, are the rebels who have alleged high-handedness of the party core group.
We from the media had a good enough reason to support Lok Paritran. They had the drive and raw passion clubbed with intelligence and good intentions. They still do. The main guys from the party had given up their lucrative careers to take a plunge into politics, had settled for hand-to-mouth existence and travelling by autorickshaws, rented small apartments far away from their homes and spoke very clearly about what they wanted to do and why they wanted to do it asap. “When you want to do good for the nation, the earlier you can, the better,” they contended.
Fair enough. Besides, we from the media knew that if we rubbished a fledgling youth party, no young person ever would want anything to do with politics. When most engineers were happy taking the next flight abroad, here was a group of committed young people. Of course, we had to support them. Like I said in my post asking for people to support LP, if you don’t encourage the first man who tried something good, how will you give the courage to those who follow.
In their enthusiasm, they swung into action, interviewed scores of people they did not know personally and found able candidates in Rajamany and Elanthirumaran.
Post election, they realised they were betrayed by the very people they trusted. All in the game. Every new party will have starting trouble, especially with the inexperience.
But this is now time to learn from the mistakes and start from scratch if they still intend to do good. The youth should not get discouraged by such setbacks. LP or any other youth party can learn from some of these mistakes.
First, LP or any new youth party needs to make their roots public, with past record in politics, even if it was just two weeks or two months in a party they no longer can relate to. If you promise transparency in governance, first demonstrate that within the party.
Second, LP or any new youth party needs a few management and communication professionals to handle administration of the party itself and to design marketing communications. A political party is like any other organisation, it needs to be run and expanded. Techies and geeks could do with management and marketing help.
Third, if you want people to vote for you, you need time to tell them you are around and demonstrate what you can do for them. LP or any other youth party should begin preparations for next elections NOW… not months before the next election. You need to reach out to the people, understand their problems and introduce yourself. Like what Captain did. Phenomenal work. And that did pay dividends… About 27 lakh people voted for a party based on one man’s hard work, 8.4 per cent of the total votes polled is phenomenal, given that even MGR took years to establish himself.
There is no substitute for hard work. Let the youth not give up this soon. It’s time to learn. And keep walking ahead.
All the best LP. I want to see you guys come through clean in your darkest hour. Given all your good intentions, I hope you don’t become an example of why the youth shouldn’t take to politics as many of your critics have said and will continue to.
He says She says: Episode 20 now out!
Never thought we’ ll have things to write and fight about every fortnight.
But yes, we just completed 20 episodes of our column He says, She says.
This time we fought over who’s funnier — men or women?
I’m sure all you guys who have read about Shonali’s meeting with John Abraham will know who makes you laugh and how. He he!
Episode 20: Who’s more funny?
He says:
A friend had this theory. He said men are funnier than women. They have this knack of making people around them happy. And not in the gay sense of the word.
Yes, we are NOT talking about the four men in the car who were feeling Happy until Happy got up and ran away. He he!
See, see… you say He He, not She She!
What I’m trying to say here through these really sad jokes is that men don’t mind playing the fool. They don’t mind being called the clown.
So my friend said: “Think of one person who makes you laugh the most.” I did. “Now, was that a girl?” he asked. And No, it wasn’t. I must admit here that I do have a few women friends who make me laugh. But only because some of them, like ‘She’, often are victims of the practical jokes.
I play on them and some others, because they do not know they are funny in a bumbling-goofy sort of way. But no woman is as funny as any guy can be. Being funny is a guy thing. That’s because men have a bolder sense of humour. They are more adventurous in going for the jokes. They can be quite irreverent.
Like Cyrus Broacha once said (like he would remember even if he did): The reason you find me funny is because I try hard. If I try 100 lines in an hour and you laugh at least 10 times, you find me funny. How will you be funny if you don’t even try?
That’s the problem with women. They like to play it safe. Yes, She would like to believe women are sophisticated and classy. But there is a difference between being witty and being funny. We’re talking about the funny here. Let me now demonstrate that women cannot be funny and can make you laugh quite unwittingly.
Read the following.
She says:
And that’s precisely the problem with men. Their dreadfully juvenile form of slapstick haw-haw humour. (No one says ‘hee hee’ unless they’ve just had all their teeth knocked out.)
Want a classic example of male humour? My ‘funny’ co-writer slunk off with my cell phone at a recent party, and text messaged a random collection of people, including official contacts, saying “I think I’m falling in love with you.” Now, about one dozen men are convinced I secretly carry the torch for them, and I’m getting exceedingly strange looks wherever I go. The last time he hijacked my phone, he messaged ‘Burp!’ to half my contact list. Think that’s funny? You must be male.
Hit yourself on top of your head with this newspaper for me, please.
Groan. Why must all men be boys?
The difference between men and women, when it comes to a sense of humour, is the fact that women are far more grown up. I know a number of really interesting women, who are simply hilarious when they start telling stories — a number of which, by the way, are centred around men and the ridiculous things they do.
Because, women are funny in an intelligent sort of way.
And it’s not always bookish humour. I went to a girls’ boarding school where an average prank took at least half an hour of careful planning, whether it was the creation of a bewildering ‘apple pie bed’, which included zanily folded sheets to confuse the victim, or midnight feast replete with talented mimicry. The equivalent at the boys’ schools was grabbing a junior and flushing his head in the toilet.
And that’s the difference between men and women, when it comes to humour: women are funny because you laugh with them.
Men are funny, because — well — just look at them.
Featuring The Maanga Madayan! (The Mango Idiot)
I just found out that 20 per cent of all my traffic comes from this loser who hates me ‘cuz I took his ass in some post ages ago.
Very promptly, he features me in his blog once a week admitting I make him puke.
What can I say! It’s just the effect of pregnancy… I always manage to fukk him so bad enuff and the bitch uses no protection whatsoever.
While wondering how I get so much traffic from him, I noticed he gets no comments at all. That does tells me something.
He has a stick up his ass that makes him puke out the shit all the time and now his face and ass resemble each other and even produce the same thing.
So much that even his Mom finds it hard to like him. Turns out that he looks like her neighbour.
Given his fetish for puke, I just thought I’ll take a leak on him because he’s been screaming for my attention for ages now.
Otha dai, Nee-loo, von aatha single, von appan plural.
(For the benefit of the non-Tamil speaking readers, nee=you, von aatha=your mom, von appan=your Dad, otha dai=Tamil slang for mild f-word abuse)
Yes people, blogosphere has a new public toilet.
The Maanga Madayan I call Nee-Loo.
Wanna take a shot at the pot, crap here.
To all my buddies: The importance of closure!
The single most important part of any love story is not the courting period, not the definitive honeymoon phase or the actual relationship itself, but how it all ends.
It is how a relationship ends that determines your next and subsequent relationships and of course, the rest of your life. Without it, the person carries this into the next relationship, complicating that in the process with adequate speculation on “was this a rebound thing?” or “was it a transitional fling?” or “how can you still love someone when you are not over the other?”
So, before you get into another relationship: Lay the ghosts to rest.
To draw a parallel with death, we bury the dead, have a mourning period, get it all out and then have a 13th day function (or whatever applicable according to your faith) and then you continue to live, remembering the person once in a while, cherishing the good things and forgetting the bad because the bad does not matter any more. The person is dead.
That is exactly what we need to do during closure in a relationship.
First, does not matter whose fault it was. Forgive and forget. Or if it was your fault, apologise and forget. Forget the bad things because they don’t matter in a relationship that is dead.
To look at it objectively, look back at your whole love story like it were a movie. There were the good scenes, how you met each other, how you fell in love, things you did that built the love (storing each others messages, gifts, letters or things you promised you wont do or will do, just for that one person… a friend had vowed he would eat watermelon only with the girl he loved because it was their special bonding thing) and also the way it ended. The way it ended was just the climax… which means you had 7 good scenes and 3 bad scenes or five good scenes and five bad. Which means you still had a fairly good relationship but for the way it ended.
If there were 9 bad scenes and 1 good scene, you must have been an idiot to be in it. Just be glad it is over.
We’re talking about long strong intense relationships where two people loved each other so madly once upon a time that they couldn’t see themselves without the other.
So closure is difficult but not impossible if you did truly love the person and it wasn’t your fault at all. It is also difficult when you do realise it was your fault but it cannot be repaired. So how do you go about it?
First, post mortem. Separate the good things from the bad things. Think of it as the baggage you have to carry for the rest of your journey. Remove the heavy parts of the baggage which you cannot share with your next companion. Discard them, throw it away.
For which, you need to resolve the incomplete questions: Why did it happen to me? or Why did I mess it up? or Does moving on mean I didn’t truly love him/her?
To resolve these questions, you could meet up with each other, remind him/her about the good things, thank him/her for it, do not bring up the bad and agree on one thing: That it was good till it lasted. And now it was time to move on. Agree to be friends who will smile at each other when you do bump in to each other.
If the person has caused you so much hurt that you cannot possibly meet them face to face. Email it to them. Get it out of your system. But make sure you find three good things to say before you think of one bad thing.
If you cannot, like I said before: You were the idiot to be in the relationship. Now live with it. If you think you wasted 3 years of your life, don’t make it four or five. Or even 3 years 1 day. Stop now. Because, sometimes all it really takes is one moment to take that call. To turn the corner.
But the most effective way for closure lies within you. Forgive. Unconditionally. Because, it does not matter whose fault it was. Death is death, heart attack or kidney failure or murder or suicide does not matter. The fact is you have to live without the other. You might meet each other someday and the ghosts would come back if not exorcised.
So perform the final rites. Delete the messages that weigh you down and remind you about the great tragedy. Take the gifts out of the cupboard and keep them out with your other stuff. Eat that watermelon on Chocolate Vertigo you promised you wont eat without the other. And do this slowly and steadily, take your time. There is a good enough reason why there’s a feast at the end of 13 days after a funeral.
After which, date people with an open mind.
Forget the scars of the previous relationship. If you do keep talking about the scars, you stand a good chance to sratch them or open them up while discussing those scars. No person you date will appreciate you talking so much about the previous relationship. It could either ruin your current relationship or worse, make your date support the other and argue with you on who was right and who was wrong. Forgetting is possible only if you forgive.
A friend of mine freaked me out recently sending me a 19K mail on who was right and who was wrong, nearly two years since we broke up. While I’m glad she’s getting her closure, I don’t find it even remotely interesting to read that email because it was so long ago that it does not matter. I forgave her ages ago and replying to it now only reminds me of a scar I had forgotten long ago. May God bless her and every person who is still recovering from their previous relationship.
May they lose their excess baggage, travel light, have a fun journey ahead. And may they have the wisdom to realise that the key to closure lies in forgiving. Unconditionally. Just like the key to relationship lies in giving. Unconditionally.
Episode 19: Why are women so choosy about friends?
He says:
Ever noticed how women are choosy about friends?
Men just about bond with anybody and everybody. Men and women. Women are picky. Men do not stay away from women who aren’t that attractive or smart. Women are snooty.
Men do not assume that every girl who talks to them is hitting on them. Women can be so vain.
Men don’t see why they need a reason to be friends. Women need a reason.
They need to either find the guy intelligent or attractive or entertaining or helpful and caring and sensitive and all that you find the shopping for in matrimonial profiles and dating lists.
Isn’t it rather strange that most women try to find reasons to be friends after you break up with them? Of course, it is difficult for two people who loved each other to be friends even if one of them still loves the other. But once they’ve broken up or decided against a relationship, it’s probably because they don’t really love each other any more, or, at least one of them doesn’t love the other enough for the relationship to survive, and hence, it becomes a pointless one-sided exercise which one must get over before they can be friends.
But the point here is, once you are over it, it doesn’t take much to be friends. Unlike a relationship which requires people to share lives, time and space, friendship comes with no strings attached.
A friend wouldn’t even care if you don’t call him for a week. He knows you care even if you call him after two months. Because, for a man, being a friend is as simple as simply being there. Unconditionally.
Men are willing to be friends all the time. With anyone and everyone.
Can a woman dare say the same?
She says:
Dare? We wouldn’t dream of it. Of course we’re snooty about our friends. We have every right to be.
Friendships between women are very different from friendships between men. The most intense conversation I’ve seen between two men involved a certain scene from Star Wars.
Most of the time male bonding involves the sports channel, chips and beer. Guys rarely have deep meaningful relationships with each other.
Heck. Guys barely have conversations with each other — unless you count grunts and glugs as conversation.
Which probably explains why men need a ‘boys night out’ only once a month or so. Why telephone conversations between men rarely last more than five minutes. And why men always, and I mean always, want female company — whether it’s in the form of girlfriends or just girl buddies — no matter where they are.
Try looking for a straight man who will willingly go to an all male party and you’ll be circling the globe forever.
Women, on the other hand, love Girls Nights. And this is regardless of whether they’re pig-tailed horrors in flannel pyjamas encrusted with chocolate at a pyjama party; perfectly turned out, cocktail drinking hipsters at a nightclub, or dignified greying friends gathered around a card table sharing gossip and Darjeeling tea.
Because women truly enjoy each other’s company.
We do things together, whether it’s going for group beauty parlour binges or shoe shopping sprees. We make sincere efforts to keep in touch, even if it involves trans-Atlantic phone calls or taking a train, bus and autorickshaw to share a pot of tea. And we depend on each other, being supportive though break-ups and bad hair days.
Which is precisely why we’re picky about who we count among our friends. Because we need to have people we can count on. Not just go fishing with.
Finger: You rather point it now than later!
I love this campaign done by Choodamani. This appeared in The Hindu today.
Finger: Show it to them before they show it you!
Good work, Choodamani!
P.S: Incognito has an update on the Lok Paritran meeting.
Kudos to Ilaya Thalapathy Chinna Captain Praveen for his contribution to making the impact happen.
Bharat has uploaded the Lok Paritran theme song.
