Review: A boob show called ‘Souten’
Director: Karan Razdan
Genre: Adult-Drama (Matter movie with no matter)
Storyline: A young MBA graduate comes home bored to have affairs with a bored housewife and her step daughter, after seeing them in fashionable bikinis, only to find himself at Gulshan Grover’s gun-point.
Bottomline: Titillating torture.
8. The bored: You won’t find a better stress-BUSTer.
Be warned. The movie has absolutely no matter scenes, which is why it doesn’t even work as a porn flick. It’s a plain, simple boob show. Mahima is hoping someone would sign her for her face-value and acting prowess the next time around and good old Kiran doesn’t seem to mind flaunting it at all. She has lost tonnes of fat since ‘Gemini’.
And man, aint she looking hawt or what!
Quarter adichu…
Don’t just quarter adichu kupra paduthuffy (impossible to translate, so if you don’t understand, get yourself a drink!)…
Half adichu blog ezhudhufy!
Vodkathon is on, I hear. And I will participate in spirit. Because I’m working. I hope many of you make it there. Or set up a local meeting here in Madras.
You can participate from your computer too… Just hook up your webcam, sit with the drink and catch the action in Bangalore live by adding Ferrari to your messenger. Watch this space for updates.
Let the party begin. Let the creative juices flow. Let yourself go.
Coming Soon: The boob show called Souten (Review)
I’ve not had so much fun writing a review, at least not since Sins. Watch this space.
Till then, I presume I’ve given you enough to keep yourself busy! 
What exactly is a review?
Review has to be the most abused word in blogdom, where anybody with a three-line opinion about a movie becomes a reviewer.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally buy the point that it helps the layman to make himself heard and trash movies he does not like. Truly wonderful, because, as a filmmaker, I want to know what people think about movies. It’s as honest a response as you can get. Almost virginal, straight from the heart of a man/woman who is reacting to something he/she just watched. I’m all for bloggers to pour their heart out about movies.
But academically speaking, there is a need to differentiate between an opinion and a review. It might seem the same to the layman, but there is a world of difference.
Reviews are an offshoot of analysis. Done purely by experienced journalists who understand the medium they are reviewing — Food, cinema, music, books, etc. And, a review is not just opinion. It is the juxtaposition of what a communicator (filmmaker/writer/chef/artiste) is trying to say, with what the audience perceives it as (you) and studying closely the devices which help the communicator connect or disconnect with his audience.
Simply speaking, when we are talking about films, it is about studying the filmmaker’s intent (based on interviews), the message (deconstructing form and content) itself and the message as perceived/likely to be understood by the common man (common cribs, usually reflected through word of mouth/blogs/audience feedback).
What does a reviewer study? He examines how far the filmmaker has succeeded in what he’s sought to do, how has he done it, what makes it smart communication and where does it fail and why, the cinematic techniques in form which enrich or curtail the narrative, the validity of the story itself (content) and its plausibility, the alienation devices used to differentiate fantasy from realism and the genre and a basic summary of what is good about the movie and why it is good and what is bad about the movie and why is it bad. Based on the pros and cons, sometimes, the reviewer tells you if its worth watch or not. Sometimes, he lets you decide if you must.
So how is this not mere opinion?
Because, review writing is a scientific process to a large extent. Which is why it is the job of a specialist. Which is why there are film schools teaching people film appreciation and criticism.
Which means that facts mentioned in the review cannot be contested because they are valid and true.
A review is not mere retelling of the story of the film. It is an objective, holistic, look at the sender, receiver, the message, the noise and the feedback.
Sender = filmmaker
Receiver = audience
Message = story (content) and how it is told: the narrative (form),
Noise = defect in the message (things within the message that cause miscommunication between the filmmaker and the audience)
Feedback = how the audience responds/is likely to it.
While studying sender, you read interview to find out filmmaker’s intent and what he’s tried to say and also, who is he trying to talk to?
While studying audience, you study the RELEVANT audience (as desired by the filmmaker… the people the filmmaker has made the film for) response. For example, Vijay’s films might be most politically incorrect, but is he trying to talk to those who believe in political correctness? You have to consider what the crowd in the hall has to say. What is the box office telling you?
While studying the message, you study the content (the story, the plot, the sub-plots, the characters, their world, their problems and the things that lead to resolution of the conflict) and then the form (the devices, the ploys, the ups and downs, the colours, the music, the editing, the art direction among other techniques and technicalities used to convey everything listed under content) and see if this form and content appeals to the intended target group.
While studying noise, you need the skills, the expertise and the knowledge gained through training and/ or experience in understanding cinematic form, the history, the trends, the hurdles, the collective conscious of the society, the context, the political correctness etc.
While studying feedback, you need to see the consequences of the movie on the common man. How responsible is it? Will it lead to civil unrest and make people of two communities kill each other? Will it glorify violence? Will it promote racism? Will it lead to more men on streets thinking sexual harassment is cool?
Collating all of this under 500 words needs quite a bit of skill and understanding of cinema, which only comes with time. Which is why film criticism is serious business. Which is why Raja Sen, Baradwaj and Lazy are such good critics.
Yes, there is a certain amount of judgement that is bound to creep in, which is why reviews differ from person to person. But the criticism part in a review is more or less just the same. This judgement is derived out of personal experience and the sum total of cinematic encounters you have had.
Half-information is dangerous. Which is why reviews by incompetent critics could be misleading. Which is why not every three-line opinion about cinema is a review.
But to a filmmaker, it’s not what the critic says that matters, it’s what that three-line opinion from his target audience that matters. So make yourself heard on movies, “review” it in your blog but it always helps to know the difference between an opinion and a review.
That Four Letter Word Ver.1
This is the promo of the movie which we shot three years ago, shelved and reshot.
As a build-up to the launch of the trailer of the new version and the preview coming up in a few weeks, I will be going down the memory lane and maybe use the chance to thank all the people who have been responsible for giving shape to a very old dream.
The promos will feature one new video on the movie and the making of it every week and will end with the release of the trailer of the new movie and the dates of preview. We’ve been stuck at the post production level for quite a long while now because of technical difficulties. But we believe this too shall pass and we will have a movie on our hands soon.
Spread the word. This August, we hope we will give you a chance to celebrate life and friendship.
Sign up for the preview to be held in a few weeks by leaving a comment with your email address.
That Four Letter Word Version 1
This is the promo of the movie which we shot three years ago, shelved and reshot.
As a build-up to the launch of the trailer of the new version and the preview coming up in a few weeks, I will be going down the memory lane and maybe use the chance to thank all the people who have been responsible for giving shape to a very old dream.
The promos will feature one new video on the movie and the making of it every week and will end with the release of the trailer of the new movie and the dates of preview. We’ve been stuck at the post production level for quite a long while now because of technical difficulties. But we believe this too shall pass and we will have a movie on our hands soon.
Spread the word. This August, we hope we will give you a chance to celebrate life and friendship. Sign up for the preview to be held in a few weeks by leaving a comment with your email address.
Click on the title of this post to refer back to the original post made on the personal blog to read comments.
By bublic demand!
Captain, Chinna Captain and Gaptun inKaasmir Kammando
For the first time, a triple role of Captain featuring Chinna Captain…
(enabled by a body double Chinna captain a.k.a. Chinna Vaiyasu Ilaya Thalapathy)!
Thank you Ferrari, thank you Harish.
I would like to tag Ferrari, Harish, Witchy Angel, Incognito and all those like to come up with more in the Photoshop series and develop a full-fledged plot involving Captain and Chinna Captain based on the title and tagline and pictures here (I want to read about the Sangavikku ice vekkara scene!). Please feel free to use this space to co-ordinate for pictures in case you already don’t have enough! *evil laugh*
P.S: Praveen, did you see this? They say imitation is the best form of flattery. But what this dude has done is not imitation, it’s Control C, Control V.
Still from unreleased Captain film
Chinna Captain with Sangavi in the yet to be titled Captain movie. Watch out for details.
The truth about Sudesi and Sinna Vayasu Ilaya Thalapathy
Disclaimer: Sudesi was not produced by Suderman and any resemblance to names or characters is purely co-incidental and completely detrimental to my image.
Warning: When you damage Suderman’s image, you are likely to damage yours too, literally, as the pic above shows.
Notice: This is also to serve legal notice on Sinna Vaiyasu Ilaya Thalapathy look-alike fraud boy who has bad-mouthed the Sokka Thangam ‘Captain’ in his review of Sudesi.
Clarification: Contrary to public opinion that my review of the movie is doing its rounds as a forward, Suderman seeks to clarify that he has written no such review and any such attempt to pass off Fraud Praveen’s review as mine will be seen as ethir-katchi conspiracy against Captain.
Post script: Suderman completely endorses Captain’s election manifesto.
Late realisation: I just crossed 2 lakh hits… thanks pa, Praveen! 
(Last two days alone have resulted in over 2500 hits, thanks to the paeru and pugazh you have brought me… now it is my turn to repay the favour! He he!)
Review: Just Like Heaven
Cast: Reese Witherspoon, Mark Ruffalo
Director: Mark Waters
Genre: Romantic comedy
Storyline: A landscape architect moves into a new apartment haunted by a spirit of a pretty workaholic doctor and before they know it, they are in love.
Bottomline: Well-written chick flick.
Just Like Heaven is a very pleasant surprise.
Despite its obviously fairytale premise of a workaholic doctor driving into a truck after a 26-hour shift coming back from the dead to find a new occupant in her apartment, it is neatly-written romantic comedy, with a few good lines here and fun moments throughout.
The greater your suspension of disbelief, the greater you will enjoy this movie.
Reese Witherspoon is Elizabeth, who is in so much love with her job, that’s she’s not really had a serious relationship. Just the evening she’s supposed to be set up with a guy, she meets with an accident.
As she goes home to find David (Mark Ruffalo), an alcoholic inhabitant who turns her neat apartment into a mess, she cannot figure out if he’s a homeless intruder or why she can’t remember who she is. Together, they try to find out all about her life and what happened to her after it.
And like it happens it all romantic comedies, they fall in love.
What makes ‘Just Like Heaven’ worth watching are the performances by the lead pair and the way they make the most corniest of lines sound absolutely convincing.
The scenes where David talks to Elizabeth in public spaces, when only he can see her, evoke a few laughs as Mark Ruffalo steals the scenes away from the talented talkative young actress.
Like most romantic comedies, the guy is always this most charming, eligible, funny, caring and sensitive man and the girl is this pretty, talkative blonde who can be moony-eyed, waiting for her love. But, that does not stop you from not enjoying the movie.
There’s also Donal Logue, who plays David’s shrink and friend, with some genuinely funny lines in the movie, especially around the climax.
Screenwriters Peter Tolan and Leslie Dixon deserve mention for equipping the characters with lines that are the right mix of restraint and romance.
It might never be in the league of ‘Notting Hill’ or remembered long after, but ‘Just Like Heaven’ is certainly worth your time when you are in the hall. Perfect for the date.
Trying to make sense: taste, sight, mind, heart and soul
Today:
I got a tooth removed, another operated on for root canal treatment of cavity and another cavity filled in my wisdom tooth, all within two hours. Still dealing with post operation blues… but Yay! All my dental problems are fixed.. Except for one pending tooth implant and one cosmetic touch up, both of which can wait. Can’t eat anything hot or spicy. Ice-creams, here I come.
Yesterday:
Watched Crash yet again, this time in the movie hall. I’m tired of reviews, no mood to do that and suddenly, it seems like work. But Crash hits you like no movie ever has simply because it’s about something which all of us, at some level indulge in, knowingly or subconsciously… put people into boxes, on the basis of their race. One of the most awesomest screenplays to have ever been pulled off with great political correctness, razor-sharp lines and a no-holds barred approach in the narrative with an attitude. Super cool. Personal favourite: The Invisible Cloak episode.
Day Before:
Was in Kerala. Had been back visiting folks, bonding with cousins. Never realised I have 15 cousins. I’m the oldest at 29 and the youngest is hardly a year old. One of them is getting who is 22, is getting married. I met the young couple at her place for dinner the previous night and had a ball shooting them together on video. The funny thing for the rest of the folks was that all of us (me, him and her were speaking in English though we all spoke Konkani at home!). There you go, another bit to prove that culture is not always what you get from family. It’s what you get from people around you. Which is why by nature, change is inevitable.
A few days before that:
Watched Sudesi with bloggers Ravages,(it was his budday!) Prabhu, Harish and Incognito. Not sure how many of you read this bit I wrote on how the movie is his election manifesto. I was quite surprised by the political content in it. Despite the inherent trappings of a Captain movie, you couldn’t help noticing the good intentions of a simple well-meaning man with a poor technical team. It wasn’t as classy as ‘Muthalvan’ but the movie seemed to have its heart in the right place. Somewhat metaphorical of the real life situation. Captain might be a good man with good intentions. But is that alone enough to be a winner?
Now:
This one goes out to all my buddies:
Wrong person + Wrong time = Wake up, now! Move your ass outta there.
Right person + Right time = Live the dream, baby. May God bless you guys.
Right person + Wrong time = Wrong person. Move your ass outta there.
Wrong person + Right time = Fling. No comments. To each his own.
Whatever person + Whatever time = Friend.
Cut it like Pizza: Re-edited!
This post was born out of something I once posted as a comment in my buddy’s blog.
Maybe I made it sound too light then talking to him the way I always do. But I guess it had to be different here, cuz I’m pretty sure it aint that simple for many reading this. So here it is again, just a lil more sensitive I hope!
My buddy was going through a break up of sorts after a long relationship and a lil disillusioned with the way it ended when I told him:
“It’s not important what she says, it’s always about why she says what she says… the WHAT might hurt, the WHY may not always!
I’d like to believe she said that to make it easy for both of you!
As cheesy as it may sound, to get a neat slice of pizza, you need to cut tough, just to ensure the cheese doesn’t get messy and pull the other slice along while u help yourself.
Cut it fine. And cut it hard. Just a matter of time before you master the art of cutting it off, clinically, surgically, routinely, like it is just some pizza: cheesy is fine, dont make it messy.”
I remember one of the most important lessons I learnt in life was from Prahlad Kakkar, during a half-hour long interaction with him over lunch a few years ago when he came to talk on Creativity at an advertising seminar.
“It is very important to know when to let go,” he said. “It’s like learning horse-riding. You are bound to fall, but wisdom lies in knowing when to let go… If you don’t free your feet in time, the horse will drag you along.”
Letting go is one of the most difficult things to do but among the most important thing too, when you do fall off that horse called relationship.
When exactly do you let go? When do you know it wont work anymore, asked a friend reading my post.
There are always two types of situations when it comes to a relationship not working. A temporary crisis or a permanent crisis. A temporary conflict can be solved with time and space. A permanent crisis has no solutions whatsoever.
A temporary conflict spells: Not now.
A permanent one spells: Never ever.
A temporary conflict has solutions apart from time and space. You can talk it out, resolve differences or do everything there is, to make it work.
When none of that helps, and when ‘Not now’ turns to ‘Never ever,’ it is a sure indication it is time to let go. More so, when the reasons are beyond your control.
It is the biggest act of love to let her go because though it will be difficult for the both of you now, time will prove that it was the best thing to happen.
Also, till you set her free, you really don’t know if she was meant to come back to you. If you are too insecure, you could hold tight on but the unresolved issues that kept you away will keep showing their ugly head again and again.
Closing your eyes and holding on is being in denial. When you wake up to see how long the horse has dragged you, the pain will hit you dramatically.
What would you rather do? Let your loved one find the happiness she deserves by setting her free? Or have her suffer with you, thinking about the impending separation everyday.
I remember a conversation I had with a friend a while ago. What is the difference between ‘Not Now’ and ‘Never Ever’ really, she asked.
It’s a difference between life and death, I told her.
‘Not Now’ is symbolic of life itself with the hope that comes along with it. That death isn’t coming today or tomorrow… it will come some day, we don’t know when.
‘Never Ever’ spells instant death of a relationship.
There are some people you cannot see yourself with, ever. Even if you do like them. So when you know it’s Never Ever, it’s time to let go and move on.
When it’s ‘Not Now,’ give it time and space. There is always hope. It’s not an incurable malady after all.
Which brings me to the short story I wrote recently. I did not expect a whole bunch of people to assume it’s autobiographical. It isn’t. But I guess people do tend to think that way when they find an intense story in a personal blog.
“You mean you won’t do what the warrior did if you faced a similar situation,” asked a friend.
“Certainly not,” I told him. “It only works in a story, not in reality. It’s cool to watch a hero die in a movie. It aint that cool when you have to be the guy who’s dying.”
I’m afraid even ‘That Four Letter Word’ will be like that too. It aint autobiographical, though we did start writing it based on real people.
Because, people don’t go watch romantic comedies to find realism and brutality of everyday life. They go to movies to find some sort of gratification of their personal desires, dreams and aspirations.
Related reading:
The need to know when to STOP.
I’m Freeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Freeee-Faaaallin’
By Public Demand!
From right to left: Her reactions as she walked in. The poster was literally over his face when she first came in. Yeah, poor Shonali’s face has been digitally altered to protected her identity, on request! He he! *evil grin*
If you don’t know what this all about, read the post below!
Happy Budday Shonali!
If you don’t already know, we have a notorious record of bullying her.
We in fact, once made her talk to John Abraham.
A week before her budday:
We were keen to play a joke on her budday. Though it would have been a cakewalk if we used another personality, we wanted to challenge ourselves. How about making her believe she’s going to meet John Abraham again. And on her budday.
Why would she believe it coming from me? Or from anyone if it involves John Abraham?
Thursday evening:
We took boss into confidence and told him about our plan of creating an assignment for Shonali on her budday. We ll print the invite for the interview with John Abraham on a letter head of some PR firm, we said. Get a real PR firm to give us their letter head, he suggested.
We then called S from PR firm Pratika. S was a friend, she knew Shonali too. She was more than game. And excited too. I’ll get working right away and fax it to the Deputy Ed by noon tomorrow she said.
Fast Track and Castrol were products he was endorsing but he could also be in town for promoting Taxi No. 9211 we told her. Details are necessary because a journalist always does homework before the interview.
Friday, a little after noon:
S says she’s faxed it.
We tell boss and he says maybe we have to make it more believable now. He would assign it to Shonali’s colleague M and she would turn it down on the excuse that she has someother work and pass it on to Shonali to cover.
So we took M into confidence. Now, M is one of Shonali’s very good buddies and sits right next to her. “She hates surprises. She’s gonna be really hurt,” she said. “Too bad, the plan is on. The trap is set. You have to do this,” we told her.
M and Shonali are in meeting with Boss when Boss hands over the fax to M asking her to do it. M we heard was a brilliant actor, turning it down saying “For once, you’ve given me a good assignment but I can’t do this because Im going to Pondy. Let Shonali do it,” she said.
It turns out that Shonali didn’t want that extra assignment on her budday since she already had one in the evening. But then, this was John, so maybe she was secretly thrilled because she didn’t show it out.
As Boss told us, “She didn’t seem too keen in the beginning, maybe because she was second choice.” But her sister, who also works with us, assured us that she probably was just a little bummed about having to work a little more on her budday.
Friday evening:
S messages us saying Shonali has fallen for it. “But she asked why Barista, Khader Nawaz Khan Road? Won’t he get mobbed?”
Maybe Shonali was getting suspicious. And soon enough, she called me. Before I could take it, she cut the line. A few minutes later, I called her back. Engaged.
Did she find out?
So I message her: “Happy Birthday Shonali. Almost forgot.”
She calls back in a coupla minutes. “Idiot. Is this how you wish people for their budday?”
“No, I tried calling, it was busy.”
“Ok (laughs) my Budday is tomorrow anyway,” she says.
“Oh! I thought today was 4th.”
“No, it’s tomorrow.”
“Ah!”
“Okay, tell me what is John Abraham doing tomorrow?” she asks.
“John? You mean Abhishek (given that I made her talk to Abhishek last time around making her believe it was John Abraham)… He has some Ad Club awards tomorrow (the awards were only on March 9 but how would she know)”
“No, idiot. I’m meeting the real John Abraham tomorrow,” she says.
“Yeah right”
“No, seriously, listen. Im doing an interview,” she beams.
I’m grinning, but that, she cant see over phone. We announce it to everyone at work.
Saturday
Shonali tells every single person who’s called to wish her from 12 that she’s meeting John Abraham.
“I thought it was destiny,” she told us later at Barista. “That John was coming down for my birthday.”
As she leaves home, her Mom tells her: “You are going to meet John. Dress up” (Yeah, even the Mom knew)
She asks the photography department to send a photographer for the interview (Yes, we took the photography chief into confidence too!)
She calls S from Pratika to check if the interview is on. “Yes, it’s exclusive only for you. They don’t want any other media. So please don’t tell anyone,” says S.
Half an hour before the designated time:
I message Shonali asking where the assignment was taking place. “N wants to do an interview for the Times. When and where are you meeting John?”
Shonali calls back to yell at me: “You idiot… Why did you have to tell N. It’s an exclusive interview only for us. M came to know about it somehow and asked me to do it.”
“Oh, Im sorry. I’ll tell N you didn’t reply back,” I say, picking up the John Abraham poster at Archies, still grinning. I meet a coupla friends there and tell them about the prank. “Oh yeah, she was bragging about it this morning,” says one. “Awrite then, come over to Barista,” I say.
Soon, we are at Barista. Abhishek, who’s now so used to being called John (I’ve saved his number in my phone as John Abraham, just to use it as a readymade prank on strangers), is ready with an issue of Filmfare that says: “How to proposition John Abraham” on the cover. The poster was his idea. There it was, this topless picture of John, all sweat and muscle.
John also got a cake ready for her. I made a last minute Book of Ugly Pictures album with the junk photographs we get at the office of ugly celebrities, wannabes and criminals from the Police reporter’s beat. Another colleague S got her a birthstone. We put all our gifts into a pink bag and waited.
Soon, the photographer walked in (courtesy Chief of Photography) thinking John was showing up. He had even seen the movie and was so keen to meet John. He couldn’t believe it was a prank. But we told the Chief, we explained to him. Apparently, the chief was in a good mood to send a photographer to cover Shonali’s surprise.
So there we were, all ready. Shonali was delayed by Boss as they made her cut a cake and her immediate boss offered to have her dropped at the assignment venue because she was late. Shonali was nervous. She was late, she couldn’t prepare enough because she was dragged in to cut the cake at Boss’s room.
As soon as she got out of the car, she ran in to see S from Pratika waiting at the door. “Is he here,” Shonali asks anxiously. “Yes,” says S ushering her in.
Shonali walks in. We sing. Abhishek is wearing that John Abraham poster on him.
Slowly it sinks in, she’s embarassed but smiling so wide you can’t see her eyes. She walks over to John’s poster and covers her face, still laughing. She then playfully keeps hitting Abhishek before going on to give him a hug. We make her pose for pictures. “You know where this is going,” I tell her.
Yeah, here.
A few minutes later, M walks in to apologise. And then Boss. Our photographer was such a sport, he kept clicking endlessly… some 31 pictures in 30 minutes. Too bad Shonali doesn’t want them here. Can we have some public demand please.
So to further embarass her, we sing Happy Budday three times during our stay there and each time specifying “Happy Budday Dear Shonali Muthalaly of The Hindu”…
“This is better than the real John Abraham,” she said, despite her embarassment. “I wasn’t really prepared. But I came ready with questions. What actors ya, all of you.”
How can you even think John’s coming to town exactly on your budday? “Well, I knew I couldn’t trust this one (pointing at me) but how did I know I couldn’t trust my Boss,” she said.
“I thought it was destiny that John and me meet on my budday.”
Destiny indeed. To be fooled twice. This time by the “real” John Abraham.
